Twenty-Three Reasons We Fell Apart (For Various Partners)

heart shaped bruise
Nan Goldin “Heart-Shaped Bruise”
  1. You crawled so far inside yourself and it was so dark and my flashlight gave out.
  2. You told me the first time we met that you’d draw me and you never did.
  3. You cast me in your play as Sisyphus and the only prop was the weight of your silence like a boulder on my back.
  4. You played Call of Duty while I was naked in your bed.
  5. I told you to stop believing I was a magical unicorn and you said “but you are, though.”
  6. I told you not to fall in love with me and you did.
  7. You told me that sometimes I felt like a snake wrapping itself around your neck.
  8. On vacation when we had sex and I squirted on the bed, you asked why I peed on you.
  9. I haven’t been able to squirt since.
  10. Because I’m not that much of a masochist.
  11. That one time I made you dinner after work, you ate it with a Xanax and passed out on the couch without a “thank you” while I did your dishes.
  12. You had terrible facial hair and I didn’t know how to tell you.
  13. The first time we had sex, you slapped me hard across the face without permission and when I asked you why so many months later you said you “knew I would like it.”
  14. I didn’t fucking like it. I cried but it was dark and you couldn’t see.
  15. A girl told you I was “a crazy bitch” and you believed her.
  16. I tried to tell you I was sorry but you started a blog about how awful I was.
  17. The blog said, “I know you weren’t having problems with your period. You just didn’t want to have sex with me, disgusting liar.”
  18. I had cysts on my ovaries and my period had lasted two weeks and my friend was dead but it didn’t matter.
  19. You took too much acid and went insane.
  20. I loved another man and had to leave.
  21. You loved British musical comedy television shows.
  22. When you weren’t around, it felt like someone was dishing my guts out with an ice cream scooper, and you were never around.
  23. I told you not to get cum in my eye and you did.

By: Deanna McElhattan, Contributor

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