Two Dinè Men At 8PM

Tonight, I descend my voice
Tonight, I bend my thoughts
Tonight, my heart was so heavy
It should’ve took two tanks of gas
to get home

Instead, I was numb
as the tar
on the road
and dull as the red
unblinking tail lights

All headed south
In lines
And in curves
I, try to dismantle
a young memory
where comfort
was never an option

I, continue to drive
through mountains
and desert land
With my tired mother
sleeping in the
passenger seat
toward a night sky
that holds rain
and thunder

Yet,I felt no thunder
and I saw no rain
to wash away
guilt that renders
sullen reaction
to drunken apologies
and protective pleas to stay

A brother and father
Two Dinè men
At 8pm

One to flee from
and one to run to
Tonight, I flee
So, I do not
say goodbye

Amber McCrary is a Diné (Navajo) feminist writer and zinester. She was born in Diné Bikeyah (on the Navajo Nation), raised in Kinłání (Flagstaff, AZ) and currently resides in Phoenix, AZ. She received her her Bachelor of Arts from Arizona State University in Political Science with a minor in American Indian Studies. She loves tea, DIY punk rock culture, sad songs and anything involving smashing the patriarchy. Ahéhee’!

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